How to identify bullying – and what you can do to stop it

Are you a victim of bullying? If you’re concerned about the behaviour of peers or adults in your life, it’s important to know how to define bullying. Once you understand how to identify bullying, you can take steps to stop it.

Bullying is repeated aggressive and hurtful behaviour that specifically targets a single individual. If you’re the victim of bullying, you may feel isolated, depressed, and ashamed. Bullying may come from peers in your class or on your sports team, but it often starts with friends or people in your friend circle.

Types of bullying

You’re being bullied if you experience any of these tactics on a regular basis:

• Gossip: Bullies spread harmful and untrue rumours about you in person or over the internet.
• Physical harm: You’re hit, punched, or hurt physically.
• Silent treatment: You’re ignored when you speak, or people tell you that you’re not worth talking to or that no one cares what you have to say.
• Verbal put-downs: You’re told that you’re ugly, worthless, or other things that destroy your self esteem. Bullies often add “can’t you take a joke?” or “just kidding.” after verbal abuse to try and so you feel stupid for taking the comments personally.
• Cyber-bullying: Bullies post harmful and hurtful things about you on social media, such as mean comments, photoshopped or private images, or inciting others to join in their bullying. These are often presented as “jokes.”
• Exclusion: You’re left out of activities and events in your social circle.
• Sexual harassment: Bullies often make unwanted advances, lewd comments, and use other types of sexual harassment.
• Using relationships as a weapon: A person threatens to break up your friendship, or hurt you emotionally or physically if you don’t do what they want.

If you’re being bullied, you can take these steps:

• Keep a record. Write down everything that happens and keep records – including screenshots and the contents of text message – so that you have evidence. Bullying can often involve illegal behaviour, and it’s good to have this record if authorities become involved.
• Talk to someone. Tell your parents, grandparents, guardians, older siblings, or another adult you trust. You can also tell a teacher or coach – even if the bullying isn’t happening on school grounds – so they can put steps in place to stop it.
• Stay positive. Research has shown that people who are bullied are often intelligent, creative, and empathetic people who go on to be more successful in life than their bullies. Focus on thinking about positive things and doing activities you enjoy.

If you’re being bullied, you know that it can destroy your self-esteem and sense of safety. You may even believe that the bullying is your fault.

It’s not, and it’s important that you talk to someone you trust about what’s happening. Bullying should be addressed so it isn’t allowed to continue.