 A trip to Zambia was Lara Watson’s first foray into volunteering. She had just turned 18 and chose to defer university for a year to teach children in Zambia.
“I’d always wanted to do my bit to make the world a better place. I’m a Christian so serving others, helping people thrive and spreading love is a big part of my faith.” She returned from Zambia and began studying psychology at Canterbury University. Having long aspired to be a buddy for Kidsline, she was excited to discover Youthline at the Student Volunteer Expo and for the last two years has been volunteering as a solo phone counsellor and mentor to new trainees. “Lara throws herself into anything extra that’s going - staffing our outreach stalls, coming to every counselling skills extension training, developing training resources, and representing us at a Youth Workers hui”, says Youthline Central South Island Manager Trystan Swain. Now 21, Lara’s dream is to one day become a Clinical Psychologist and she says Youthline is helping to pave that path. “It’s a very competitive field to get into but Youthline has given me so much experience. It’s made me realise that I want it even more.” That experience was tested on 15 March 2019 when two mosques in Christchurch came under terrorist attack during Friday prayer. “I was booked in for a shift that night, and my trainee and I were the only volunteers rostered on across New Zealand. We cancelled our shift as we didn't feel safe going into the office across town, and were understandably emotional. I asked our centre manager to contact the other managers across NZ to try to rally up some volunteers from other cities, and in a matter of an hour or so the roster was full right up until we closed our regular service at midnight! It amazed me the level of support I felt from other Youthliners.” Lara wants young people to know that that level of support is there for them too. “We actually do want to talk to you and listen to you. It can seem a bit anonymous and weird calling into a helpline but we’re not robots, we’re people. I feel so honoured when someone tells me they haven’t told anyone else or share their stories and experiences that carry so much hurt. It’s so brave.” One of the most rewarding moments of Lara’s Youthline career was making her first suicide intervention, not long after going solo. “He said he wanted to be safe, but didn’t know how. He shared a lot of his emotions with me and revealed his plans to end his life. He called in with his husband so I just kept affirming that, that he really cared about his husband and his husband cared about him. We were able to make a new plan for them to drive to the nearest A&E. They were both so grateful to me for keeping him safe.” Lara says Youthline has taught her how to listen. “When you think about counselling you might think it’s someone telling you what to do and giving you advice. But being a good counsellor is actually just being alongside someone and listening to them. Not a wise guide, but a listener, a friend. This is something I’ve taken into my own relationships.” If you'd like to volunteer with us, click here to get started!
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 Mac Jordan is a self-described altruist.
“My main interest in volunteering is that there is no ulterior motive. For me, it’s about providing value. The act in itself is rewarding enough. Stopping someone from ending their life is a very powerful thing to do.” The 23 year old Psychology and Fine Arts Honours student has volunteered for Youthline Auckland Central for the last 2 and a half years. He recently joined the facilitator team and mentors every week, providing support and feedback for trainees on the helpline. It’s been hugely rewarding to be able to strengthen others, provide support so they can grow, and deliver feedback in a way that further facilitates that growth.” Mac says that growth is vital to meeting demand and providing excellent service. “Youth suicide rates in New Zealand are absurd, particularly among Maori and Pasifika. Based on personal experience clients do seem to respond really well to us.” But, he says, having enough volunteers is a constant challenge. Youthline and the volunteer sector in general need more people willing to put their hand up. “The tricky thing about Mental Health is that it’s naturally uncomfortable. You’re constantly out of your comfort zone. It’s like being a firefighter sitting in your truck waiting for a fire. And it can make you feel anxious.” And that’s why self care, and good mentoring is vital. “We need to have enough volunteers, facilitators and mentors to ensure we continue to provide a good service. Volunteering for a Helpline can be intimidating, but the training process is extensive and the Youthline community are incredibly supportive. Youthline is an environment for growth and challenge is opportunity.” If you'd like to volunteer with us, click here to get started!  Volunteering is in Marea Nicolle’s blood. Her grandparents volunteered for Lifeline in Invercargill in the 1980s and her parents, both teachers, regularly cared for foster children alongside three of their own. The 37 year old learning and development coach has been volunteering for Youthline since she was 21, and is Youthline Wellington’s longest serving Group Supervisor. “I’d heard great things about the organisation and was passionate about supporting young people and making a difference. I felt like there was something missing in my life. I wanted to be part of a community.” And Marea says that’s exactly what Youthline is.
“When I was quite sick 5 years ago, and when I had my baby, the most supportive people alongside my family were Youthline volunteers. It’s been such a big part of my life, I hate the thought of ever leaving! I love it and get so much out of it, the personal connections as well as the great training and support. I think that’s why I’ve stayed for so long. I love supporting others and I love my supervision sessions, learning from other people and hearing other perspectives. The volunteers are amazing people, they have so much going on in their lives, but still make time to help other people.” She says Youthline gives her a higher purpose. “Supporting our youth is so important, I really believe in what we do. It’s about being a listening ear, being able to point people in the right direction with referrals, being supportive and reassuring. Marea has seen a lot change in 16 years. “From when I first started to now, the issues have really changed. Anxiety and mental health come up a lot more and there’s a lot more risk assessment and checking. It wasn’t so prevalent back then. Mental health wasn’t so out there. “I think the internet has really changed things. For example, before internet and cell phones, kids could get away from bullying but now it’s around them all the time. So it can be nice to talk to someone who doesn’t know you, can’t see you, to have that anonymous side. And Youthline is really working. It’s a great place for young people to turn to if they don’t have other avenues or even if they do. It doesn’t have to be a major issue, they can ring us no matter what, nothing is too small.” If you'd like to volunteer with us, click here to get started!  Youthline volunteer Linda Vernon knows how it feels to be unhappy.
“In my late teens and early 20s I had a really difficult time with my mental health, and struggled with depression and anxiety. Through my recovery I had this idea of giving service to my community - that it would be beneficial for me and my wellbeing. And I liked the idea of counselling and helping people.” But although Linda knew Youthline was there, she had never used the helpline herself. “I think because of the kind of space I was in, I felt like no one would understand me. I was scared to reach out, like a lot of young people - because they don’t know what to expect or they think they’re going to be told what to do or told that they’re crazy. I wish that I had known how client centred Youthline is. We don’t tell people who contact us what to do or how to live their lives or how they should feel, we’re actually there for them.” Linda has been a volunteer since 2011 as a Helpline Counsellor, Governance Board Member, Personal Development Facilitator and for the last two years has been Clinical Liaison for Youthline Wellington. She says its important, especially for young people, that their mental health is normalised. “It’s ok to not be ok. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy or there’s anything wrong with you. This is what I always aim to get across. When young people call in and want things to be fixed, sometimes it’s more about getting them to accept how they’re feeling. If you’re not in a good space and fretting about it, it’s going to make it worse.” Outside Youthline, Linda facilitates rehabilitation programmes. She is also studying part-time for a post-graduate psychology degree. She says Youthline has helped shape her career. “It’s helped me so, so much. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is how to be reflective, also the giving and receiving of feedback. In my professional life, those things are so important and I’m so thankful to have had such a solid grounding.” If you'd like to volunteer with us, click here to get started!  This week is National Volunteer Week 2019. It celebrates the “collective contribution of the 1.2 million volunteers who enrich Aotearoa New Zealand”. Hundreds of volunteers across New Zealand help make Youthline what it is. They give their time in the office, at events, on our Governance Boards, and through our Youth Advisory Groups. 250 of those volunteers give their time, energy and best listening ears to Youthline as Helpline Counsellors and for that we are super proud and thankful! We know that without them, there would be no Youthline. Last year our volunteers collectively spent 12,137 hours in our Hubs standing alongside young Kiwis, reflecting, affirming and helping them grow. “More than 60% of our Helpline is staffed by volunteers, by members of our community who want to give their time to connect with young people when they need it most, it absolutely blows me away. National Volunteer Week is always a time for me to pause and reflect on how lucky we are as an organisation, and as communities, that we are surrounded by such giving individuals,” says Youthline CEO Shae Ronald. To mark the occasion we have chosen to celebrate four outstanding volunteers from around the country. Lara WatsonA trip to Zambia was Lara Watson’s first foray into volunteering. She had just turned 18 and chose to defer university for a year to teach children in Zambia. Lara volunteers for Youthline in Christchurch. “Lara throws herself into anything extra that’s going - staffing our outreach stalls, coming to every counselling skills extension training, developing training resources, and representing us at a Youth Workers hui”, says Youthline Central South Island Manager Trystan Swain. Now 21, Lara’s dream is to one day become a Clinical Psychologist and she says Youthline is helping to pave that path. “It’s a very competitive field to get into but Youthline has given me so much experience. It’s made me realise that I want it even more.” That experience was tested on 15 March 2019 when two mosques in Christchurch came under terrorist attack during Friday prayer. “I was booked in for a shift that night, and my trainee and I were the only volunteers rostered on across New Zealand. We cancelled our shift as we didn't feel safe going into the office across town, and were understandably emotional. I asked our centre manager to contact the other managers across NZ to try to rally up some volunteers from other cities, and in a matter of an hour or so the roster was full right up until we closed our regular service at midnight! It amazed me the level of support I felt from other Youthliners.” Lara wants young people to know that that level of support is there for them too. Linda VernonYouthline volunteer Linda Vernon knows how it feels to be unhappy. “In my late teens and early 20s I had a really difficult time with my mental health, and struggled with depression and anxiety. Through my recovery I had this idea of giving service to my community - that it would be beneficial for me and my wellbeing. And I liked the idea of counselling and helping people.” But although Linda knew Youthline was there, she had never used the helpline herself. “I think because of the kind of space I was in, I felt like no one would understand me. I was scared to reach out, like a lot of young people - because they don’t know what to expect or they think they’re going to be told what to do or told that they’re crazy. I wish that I had known how client centred Youthline is. We don’t tell people who contact us what to do or how to live their lives or how they should feel, we’re actually there for them.” Marea NicolleVolunteering is in Marea Nicolle’s blood. Her grandparents volunteered for Lifeline in Invercargill in the 1980s and her parents, both teachers, regularly cared for foster children alongside three of their own. The 37 year old learning and development coach has been volunteering for Youthline since she was 21, and is Youthline Wellington’s longest serving Group Supervisor. “I’d heard great things about the organisation and was passionate about supporting young people and making a difference. I felt like there was something missing in my life. I wanted to be part of a community.” And Marea says that’s exactly what Youthline is. Mac JordanMac Jordan is a self-described altruist.
“My main interest in volunteering is that there is no ulterior motive. For me, it’s about providing value. The act in itself is rewarding enough. Stopping someone from ending their life is a very powerful thing to do.” The 23 year old Psychology and Fine Arts Honours student has volunteered for Youthline Auckland Central for the last 2 and a half years. He recently joined the facilitator team and mentors every week, providing support and feedback for trainees on the helpline. It’s been hugely rewarding to be able to strengthen others, provide support so they can grow, and deliver feedback in a way that further facilitates that growth.” Mac says that growth is vital to meeting demand and providing excellent service. “Youth suicide rates in New Zealand are absurd, particularly among Maori and Pasifika. Based on personal experience clients do seem to respond really well to us.”  Mindfulness is about being present and aware of the here and now. Too often in life we’re busy focusing on the future or worrying about the past. Mindfulness pulls us back to the present and reminds us that we are valued and loved.
People who practice mindfulness on a regular basis are happier, healthier, and more successful in life. Try these simple mindfulness techniques today and experience the difference for yourself. A self-compassion pause In this exercise, you sit somewhere quiet and take a few deep breaths. You decide whether you will focus on awareness of your heart, your body, or your thoughts. You acknowledge that awareness will help you to move forward with compassion. You hit pause on your thoughts and movements, and take time to notice your feelings as you experience them. If a thought comes to you, just acknowledge it, and wave it away. Next, place your hand over your heart, take a few deep breaths, acknowledge your suffering and painful feelings as you experience them. Say to yourself. “This is what suffering (pain/hurt) feels like. It is part of being human. I accept myself and love myself just as I am.” Five-sense exercise You can perform the five-senses exercise quickly whenever you need a mindfulness boost. It’s about experiencing the world with all your senses. Start by taking a few deep breaths and bringing your attention to the world around you. Notice five things you can see around you. Try to choose things you wouldn’t normally notice – a pattern on a tile, a shadow against the building, etc. Next, notice four things you can feel – wind on your skin, hard floor beneath your feet, texture of your clothing, etc. Then, do three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. While you do this exercise, continue to breathe deeply. By the time you finish, you will be in a mindful state. The three-minute mindfulness This is another quick exercise you can do to bring your focus to the here and now. It’s great if you have a busy mind and struggle to focus during meditation. If you have a timer on your mobile phone, set it to alert you at one-minute intervals for three minutes. For the first minute, ask yourself the question, “what am I doing right now?” Focus on your feelings and sensations in your body, as well as the thoughts that come up. Give words and phrases to your feelings and thoughts. In the second minute, focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths into your diaphragm, and release. During the third minute, expand your attention from your breath out through your whole body. Focus on how breathing feels in different parts of your body. Observe thoughts as they pop up and disappear, bringing back your focus on your body. Find more mindfulness exercises on Positive Psychology. Have you tried mindfulness exercise or meditation? What benefits have you noticed?  Practicing gratitude is one way you can lead a happy and content life. By reflecting on what you’re grateful for, you focus on what’s good, instead of dwelling on things that upset you.
A gratitude journal is a book or file where you write down what you’re grateful for. Writing in your gratitude journal can help relieve stress, promote calmness and clarity of thought, and help you deal with depression and anxiety. Everyone’s gratitude journal is different, and you’re free to create yours however you like. Here are some tips to help you get started. Choose a journal There are so many cool journals and books around, you can hunt out one that feels good to you. Your journal should reflect your personality and have the pages set out the way you prefer. You can choose lined pages, blank pages, or even specific gratitude journals with pages laid out for creating lists. You may also like to use embellishments like coloured pens, stickers, stamps, or ribbon. Anything that makes you feel good is allowed. Alternatively, if you aren’t into paper, you could just open a new file on your computer to use, or even turn your social media account into your gratitude journal. Set aside time for writing Make your journal a daily practice by setting aside a block of time to jot down things you’re grateful for. First thing in the morning is a great time, because those good thoughts are in your head all day. Last thing before bed is good, too, as it gives you something pleasant to think about as you drift off to sleep. Set a daily alarm, and make your journal a habit. You only need 10 minutes – enough time to pull out your book and jot down a short list or sketch. Keep your book in the place where you’ll be stopping, with a pen handy, so you have all your tools ready to go. Use a prompt At first, you may stare at the page and struggle to think of what to write. Use these prompts as a way to guide you. Change up your prompts until you settle into a routine that works for you. After a while you may find you don’t need a prompt, or that you use the same one every day.
Figure out what works for you Your gratitude journal is personal, so you can use it however you like. There are no rules, so enjoy exploring your interests and personality between its pages. You don’t have to limit yourself to writing – draw pictures, add photographs or collages, dictate your gratitude journal to a friend. Check in with yourself regularly during your journaling time and ask yourself, “how do I feel?” “Is this making me happy?” Notice when your happiness improves and when you grow more confident. Making note of these changes helps to strengthen them. If you'd like some more tips, ideas and apps for your journal, check out this link: https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/gratitude-journal/ Have you tried writing a gratitude journal? What kinds of things do you like to include?  A ‘mindset’ is a belief that illustrates how we approach a task or challenge. Psychologists often speak about a ‘fixed’ mindset and a ‘growth’ mindset to differentiate two concepts.
People with a fixed mindset believe talents and abilities are fixed. You’re either good at something, or you’re not. In contrast, those with a growth mindset believe they can develop skills and abilities and constantly change and improve. Challenging your fixed mindset takes courage and tenacity. Here’s how you can demolish your fixed patterns and approach challenges in a new way. Change the script Your fixed mindset has a distinct voice that tells you how to approach a challenge – usually by berating you that you don’t have the required skills until you decide it’s not even worth trying. If you do try, and fail, your “voice” will tell that of course that was going to happen. When you recognise this voice, challenge what it says. Ask if it’s really speaking the truth. Consider these ways of flipping the script: Fixed mindset: “I’m going to fail and I’ll be a failure.” Growth mindset: “I may not succeed, but I’ll learn something. Most successful people have failures along the way.” Fixed mindset: “If I don’t try, then I won’t be disappointed.” Growth mindset: “If I don’t try, then I’ve automatically failed. Might as well try and see what happens.” Fixed mindset: “If I had the talent to do this, everything would work out. It hasn’t, so clearly I’m not supposed to be here.” Growth mindset: “Just because I enjoy something doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. I like a challenge. It helps me to learn and push forward.” Fall in love with failure Think back to previous failures in your life, or challenges you’ve attempted but didn’t overcome. Look for an outcome that was in some way good. Did you learn something about yourself? Did you meet someone who helped you improve your skills? As humans, we learn so much more from our failures than our successes. Challenge yourself as often as you can and learn to actively seek out and embrace those challenges. Stop being obsessed with being seen a certain way People with a fixed mindset believe they are a certain way – smart, or athletic, or fun. Anything that challenges their perception of themselves leaves them feeling irritated or competitive. Learn to let go of the feeling that it matters what other people think of you. It doesn’t matter if someone else is “smarter” this one time, as long as you’re being the authentic you. Changing your mindset can feel overwhelming, but it all begins with awareness of your thoughts and a willingness to challenge yourself. Are you ready to change to a growth mindset?  It is very normal as a parent or whānau member to be worried about your rangatahi in the wake of an event like the terrorist attack that occurred in Christchurch on March 15. We have compiled some resources from trusted sources to support you. We also want you to know that we are available to chat with you about your young person. We are happy to chat with parents, grandparents, friends, whānau, teachers, coaches and more. Being supported as the support person is incredibly important. This includes all of our free and affordable counselling services. If you don't find what you're looking for here, give us a call, text us, email us or chat with us and we'll do what we can to connect you to the right information or resource. In some parts of the country we also provide individual and family counselling face to face. The Ministry of Health has an excellent resource on supporting adolescents involved in crisis and traumatic events which relates specifically to this developmental stage. Some key points: Adolescent development The family The peer group The adolescent’s experience If you are supporting multiple children of varying ages, our friends at The Parenting Place have put together a useful guide on how to talk to your kids about trauma, and it specifically covers different ages groups, including: up to four years, 5-11 years, 12-14 years, above 14 years. The information for over 14 year olds reinforces the guidelines from the Ministry of Health, and says: They’ll most likely be hearing a lot of information through friends and social media, so it’s important to make sure the information they have is accurate. Ask them if they’ve heard about what happened and what they know about it. We've got some great information about how to Be the Change you want to see in the world that includes ways to volunteer, be heard and some information about discrimination and what to do about it.
Finally, it is so important that you get support for yourself if you are supporting others. If reading and researching is your thing, we recommend this starting point from the Mental Health Foundation. If talking things through is something you’re comfortable with, please feel free to call us, or our friends over at 1737, or Lifeline. You can also text us if you prefer. Both numbers are free and both services are confidential and anonymous. Our teams can also refer you to other services in your local area if you need additional ongoing support, or if you’re looking for something specific. Free call 0800 37 66 33 Free text 234 We have a lot more parenting resources on our website, you can check all of those out at the link below. Our Advice Hub has tons of useful information for young people, but all of it is equally applicable to adults. We've also put together a specific resource for young people about understanding thoughts and feelings in relation to the events in Christchurch. Take care of yourself, we're here for you.
It is very normal to feel a strong reaction to what has happened, and those feelings will be different for everyone. Some of us may be feeling very sad, upset or angry. Some of us may have no idea what to feel or do or say. All of this is very normal. In the past few days we’ve been hearing from all kinds of people about how they are feeling. Nothing is too big or too small to contact us about. Some of the following feelings may sound familiar:
In the days following this attack many messages, stories, articles and videos have been shared online, on TV and the radio. This intense focus is normal, as Aotearoa processes what has happened, but it can also feel very overwhelming - it seems that everywhere we look we are being reminded of what has happened. Some of us have also seen some very violent images and videos on social media of the attack itself. Watching videos like this are not helpful. We encourage anyone who sees these to report the video or image, and to connect in with someone you trust to talk about it. You are also welcome to call or text us to talk it through. As we watch our friends, media personalities and celebrities share their responses to this tragedy, it is normal to think you should be feeling a certain way. It is really important to know that we all process events like this differently, and there is no certain way you should be feeling right now. It’s normal to compare, but it is okay to be feeling differently to your mates. There are some simple things you can do for yourself in this time, or if you notice a friend needs some extra love, you can remind them of these things too. Kindness, kindness, kindness It is an important time for kindness. Be kind to yourself first and foremost, especially during times of heightened emotions and stress. Do what you need to take care of yourself. If you’re not sure what that looks like for you, we recommend checking out the 5 ways to wellbeing from our friends at the Mental Health Foundation. Also, kindness for one another. Offer to have a kōrero with your friends if you think they need it. Be extra kind to strangers, as we don’t know how other people might have been affected. It is also important to recognise that our Muslim community here in Aotearoa is grieving, and may be feeling additional fear and sadness. The attacks last week targeted this faith-based community during a time of peaceful worship, and that has had a big impact. The folks over at the Spinoff have put together some good ideas about supporting our Muslim whānau. Take a social media break Put down your phone for a while, adjust your screen-time settings, or even delete some apps for a while and add them back later. Social media is an echo chamber, and it can be really overwhelming to see the same images, reports and intense information over and over. Take some time out and be aware of what is around you, sit and listen to the sounds and sights. Listen to music you really like. Music has an impact on our heart rate, so quieter, less intense music is more likely to help you chill out. Try something new that helps with stress, like yoga or meditation. Even simple breathing exercises can have a huge impact on how we feel. Stick to your routine Sometimes the best thing we can do in response to an event like what happened in Christchurch is to stick to our routines and what we can control. It’s okay to take time out to process. This is especially true for anyone bereaved or feeling significantly impacted. Where possible though, sticking to the everyday stuff can help - going to school, heading to practice, catching up with friends. Spend time with family and friends Hold your loved ones close. Make some extra time for your family and your friends. If you’re worried about someone, ask them how they’re feeling, or share how you’re feeling with someone you trust. Connecting with others is a powerful positive force. If you’re supporting someone who is having a particularly hard time with what has happened, you’re welcome to contact us for help and guidance. If you don’t feel like you can connect with family or friends right now, we’d love to hear from you. We would love to hear from you - what happens when you call or text Youthline? Calling or texting Youthline is free, anonymous and confidential. When you call us, we try to make sure you are answered by a counsellor from the centre nearest to you. They will introduce themselves and ask you a little about yourself and how they can help. You can say anything you want in confidence and there will not be any comeback. In fact, you don't even need to use your own name. If you are in a difficult position they may ask you how they can help and may offer some ideas, but it is not for them to make judgments or tell you what to do. They will work things out with you, not for you. Sometimes working through a problem might take more than one phone call or text, and that is okay. They will not judge or criticise you, or tell you what to do. You might be asked how you are feeling and be invited to talk about your feelings. We try to provide a comfortable and accepting experience to give you the time and space that you need to talk if you want to. You do not have to be in a crisis situation to ring or text. Our counsellors are available by phone from 8am to midnight, and for crisis calls after midnight. A text conversation with Youthline is not as instant as calling or chatting with us online. It usually takes 5-10 minutes to receive a message back. Our counsellors are available by text from 8am to midnight. If you want to talk about the terrorist attack in Christchurch and how you’re feeling now, a friend you are worried about, or anything else on your mind, please reach out. Call us for free at 0800 37 66 33 Text us for free at 234 For more answers to frequently asked questions about our Helpline check out the links below.  Vigil in Wellington on March 17, 2019. |
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