Conflict at Home
Does any of these sound familiar?
“My house, my rules”
“You can stay the night, but only if I meet their parents first”
“I don’t care if you have a party, you are coming to Aunt Melda’s birthday – no question”
“If you want to be treated like an adult, you better start acting like one”
“Hand your phone to me before you go to bed”
What causes conflict at home?
What are ways to calm the conflict?
How do I talk to my parents about hard stuff?
It can be hard to talk to parents or other adults about really personal things like feeling bad about yourself, bullying, a mistake you’ve made, bad reports or trouble at school, boyfriends/girlfriends, drugs or trouble with police.
Here are some suggestions from other young people about what works or doesn’t work:
'Work your way into it. Start out by talking about something else and just work it into the conversation.'
'Depends on their mood and what they're doing. If they're in a bad mood you might leave it for later.'
'If it's something bad I'll sort of figure out in my mind what to say. I'll sit there thinking and in the end I'll get up the nerve to go and tell them.'
'If you’re wanting to go to a party, you've got to let them know how all your friends are going to be there and how you've got a ride home and you've got to say all that first because otherwise they'll just say no.'
'I talk to my parents with some respect.'
'You should give your parents a reason to listen. Say 'Mum I want to talk to you about something because it's affecting my school work' or something like that. I think it's best if you can let them know it’s really bothering you.'
'Mum usually comes in every night and says goodnight and if I've got something on my mind I'll usually ask her then and she'll sit down and talk to me.'
Here are some suggestions about how other young people cope when things are hard at home.
"I talk to my friends or my older brother first, or I get my older brother to tell Mum and Dad."
"I'll tell my cousins because they'll support me."
"My cousin's in Australia. Sometimes if I'm having a problem I'll write to her and writing it down sorts it out in my brain a bit more and makes me feel better."
"Sometimes I just write it down anyway even if I rip it up and burn it. But it makes me feel better."
"I would talk to someone I know and trust."
"I just spend some time hanging out with friends or talking with them on the phone."
Having challenging conversations with those around you